Learning to move on

       Moving overseas has its perks and its downsides. Many are drawn to the allures of moving overseas, such as the change in scenery, the exposure to a new culture and the opportunity to travel. But many fail to recognize the potential drawbacks of moving overseas. One of them being having to leave your friends behind. Before I left my home country, the thought of missing out on my friends' lives never even occurred to me. I always thought that with the level of technology that we currently possess, distance is merely a concept, not an obstacle. The idea that it was actually an obstacle was first introduced to me when a friend told me leaving her friends behind was one of the reasons why she didn't choose to study overseas. This idea was made more real when W told me about it on one of the occasions that we Skyped. And again, when D told me about her friend who went overseas to study.
       And here I am now, fully understanding what they were all talking about. Moving on is a part and parcel of life. I've travelled to a foreign land to study and live. I'm making new friends, meeting new people and spending my time with them. My friends in my home country are doing the same. They're making new friends of their own, getting closer to their current pool of friends and spending their time with said friends. They don't and won't spend hours just pining for my presence.
       Theoretically, I expected that my friends would move on. But emotionally, I guess I wasn't prepared for what would hit me. It was only when I flew there that it hit me: I had left my entire life behind to come here and I pressed a "reset" button on my entire life. From now on, I have to learn to live with a different culture, build friendships up from scratch and take care of myself. That from now on, most of my friends from home and I will only grow further apart, not in the other direction. And I have to accept that. To accept that we won't spend as much time together. To accept that when we do, we'll find fewer things funny together, fewer topics of interest and we'll experience longer lulls in conversation. To accept that meet ups will be replaced by calls, then texts, then birthday wishes on Facebook and one day we may no longer be Facebook friends even. It's a frightful thing, knowing what could happen to your friends in the years to come. It hurts too. But moving on is a part and parcel of life. And the ending of friendships not only reflect that friendships are transient, but lets you better appreciate your friendships. Because it teaches you how valuable and precious friendships can be. It teaches you that everyone has different phases in life and at each phase, you'll meet different people who will teach you something about yourself and about the human condition.
      Moving overseas is a bittersweet affair. There are ups, there are downs and I'm learning to accept both. But that doesn't mean that I'm numb to getting emotional when I think about the growing distance between me and my friends. I still feel the hurt and I still experience the fear that I will lose the ones I love, but I'm allowing myself to experience these emotions and accept it as a part of life.

"To live in a new place is a beautiful, thrilling thing, and it can show you that you can be whoever you want — on your own terms. It can give you the gift of freedom, of new beginnings, of curiosity and excitement. But to start over, to get on that plane, doesn’t come without a price. You cannot be in two places at once, and from now on, you will always lay awake on certain nights and think of all the things you’re missing out on back home."

         -Chelsea Fagan, What Happens When You Live Abroad