Being alone

Recently, I read an interesting article about doing things alone. One of the main points that the author discussed was how doing things alone was socially unacceptable. This point was later driven home when I had a conversation with my friends that reflected the social stigma that the author was bemoaning about. I was discussing my holiday plans with my friends and I had one week that was unplanned and they asked, "What are you going to do for the week? There's no one around." And I didn't see a problem with what they perceived to be a problem. Well, assuming I read them correctly, they could not fathom how I could spend one week alone. I could have started a discussion on how I feel comfortable alone and see no problem, but I chose not to and held my tongue. Instead, I said, "I can meet up with my other friends."

But this shutting up made me even more compelled to discuss this topic, even if it's not with those friends. I don't understand why it's weird or queer to do things in public alone. Many people have this (may I point out that it is misguided) belief that being alone equates to feeling lonely and sad. Maybe they would feel so if they were alone, but this is not the case for everyone. Some people (me being one of them) enjoy their alone time. In fact, I relish it very much. I do socialize and I am predominantly extroverted, but I also need time to just be with myself and my thoughts.
I know of people who absolutely will not eat outside alone, watch a movie alone or study outside alone. Somehow, they don't mind doing these things at home alone, but they believe that there is an unspoken rule that you can't do it in public. These people will judge or pity people they see who do things alone in public. That baffles me very much. I mean, I can understand how you feel about doing things by yourself and I will respect your decision if you have a need to do things in a group. So why can't you respect the decisions of those who choose to do things by themselves? No, they are not always alone because they have no friends. Sometimes, they are intentionally alone. They don't want your pity or judgement. Personally, when I meet people outside, when I'm alone and they ask something along the lines of, "Why are you so sad?" My first reaction is, "I'm not sad!" Because I most certainly am not feeling any form of sorrow. My first thought after that is, "Why the hell are you so narrow minded?" I could retort back and say, "Why are you always with someone? Why are you so needy?" But I won't. But I will feel deeply insulted by your comment. I think most people who are intentionally alone will feel so.

I'm not going to market the notion of doing things alone and encourage whoever who reads this to trying being alone. Because the only life I wish to control is my own. I'm merely asking that you respect how people wish to lead their lives. Pity is not always a good thing. It can be a great insult to those who don't need it.