It was difficult to make new friends initially because I had my Singaporean friends to fall back on. They are always hanging out together and it's just too easy to spend most of your time with them because they have so much in common with you. It felt daunting to venture out of that group and start talking to new people, unsure of whether they'd even be interested in a chance of friendship with me. After all, to some of them, I am just a short, average looking Asian who speaks with a accent. Some of them get the misguided impression I can't speak English well. [Note: I'm not putting myself down. I'm just verbalizing what I think they think. Because let's face it, racism exists.] I didn't think about it but I think I should address this issue here because it's everywhere. Racism. I've had people shout at me from cars, honk really loud at me when I was literally doing nothing, but standing on the pavement, not obstructing anyone's way. It doesn't happen often, but it happens. In school, people usually assume that English is not my first language and they have to ask me if it is, but not my Caucasian counterparts. I've had people tell me that I speak English well. At the start, I took it as a compliment. But then I realised, it wasn't. It was just a more subtle form of racism. The person who said it had no ill intention, but the notion that Asians usually can't speak English well was ingrained in her. Racism is everywhere and I think I've become way more conscious of it since coming here because I'm the one discriminated against. I'm made to feel uncomfortable in my own skin simply because of its colour. In Singapore, being the race of the majority, I would point out to people if they were being racist against other races, but I didn't feel very strongly about the issue. I could never truly empathize with them. Until I came here. Now I know what it means to be unfairly treated for something superficial, that I have no control over. I don't think one can ever understand racism until they experience it. But in a nutshell, it sucks, it's extremely unfair and it shouldn't even exist. It's illogical to hold inferior or superior views of people because of their skin colour. I don't really know how else to describe what I feel about it at the present moment. Maybe I'll write another post about this.
Anyway, I digress. So as I was saying, it was difficult to try and make new friends and "abandon" my old ones. But the friendships that I've made so far have been promising and enriching. I'm learning more and more about their culture and lifestyles. A number of people asked me if I have "an angmoh accent" now. And that's the thing I want to talk about. Accents. Everyone has an accent. It just depends on to whom you're speaking to. The fact that I had an accent never really hit me until I came here. Spending all my life in Singapore, my speech sounds the same as that of my peers. There was never a problem with communication then. Then I came here and not only was it sometimes difficult for me to catch what people around me were saying, it was difficult for them them to understand me sometimes too. To them, I'm the one with the accent, not them. It's still hard for me to acknowledge that I have an accent. Theoretically, I know I have an accent, just like everyone else in the world. But somehow, it feels weird to say, "I have an accent. Please let me know if you need me to repeat what I say." Additionally, it is NOT that easy to pick up an accent. I wish it were. I will admit, I speak differently to the locals here and to my Singaporean friends. I'm trying to learn the accent, but it's not easy because I've practiced speaking like a Singaporean for 20 years. I can't just speak like an Australian after 4 months of listening to their speech. It's kind of annoying when everyone keeps asking me because it's a constant reminder of how badly I'm failing at it.
On the flip side, I know of people who staunchly speak with their native accent by choice. They say that their native accent is no better nor worse than the Australian accent. (Something that all linguists would agree with. No language is more superior than another.) They're proud of their native accent and they will continue to use it. I can understand where they are coming from. I think they are brave to do it. But somehow, I don't think I can do what they do. Although in theory, all accents are equal, in reality, your accent affects how others see you. The moment I open my mouth and the words I say don't sound like how the locals pronounce it, I'm not considered a local, but an Asian who probably can't speak good English. Even my linguistics tutor admitted that he marks our (non-native) scripts more leniently than that of the locals because he assumes that we speak poor English. The accent really makes a difference in how people perceive me. I guess that's why I want to learn the Australian accent. So that I face one less count of discrimination here.
