I'm twenty and still single

As a twenty-year-old with most friends around the same age, I'm seeing more and more of my friends meeting people they're romantically inclined towards, going on dates, getting attached. Meanwhile, my relationship status has stayed the same since I was born. Single. Never been in a serious relationship before, never been even asked on a date before.

I have to admit, I do love being single. I love the freedom I have as a single person. I have one less person I need to account to compared to my friends in relationships. I spend less money because I'm not always going out. I don't need to spend on gifts for anniversaries. The list goes on.

But being single has its ups and downs. I have to admit, I do feel lonely sometimes. When my friends get attached or asked out on dates, I feel genuinely happy for them. But another part of me will wonder, is there something wrong with me? Why is it that they get asked out, but I don't?

Sometimes, I wish that I would be asked out on dates. But the only reason I want that to happen is so that I will feel validated. That I'm not that terrible a person. That it is possible for someone to like me. The fact that I've never been asked out before stings. I have a love-hate relationship with romantic movies. I wish that I could have what the characters in the movie have, but I hate how they have it and I don't.

But deep down, I know, theoretically, that I don't need validation from anyone. I am strong, independent, confident and so much more. I don't need a partner to tell me that I am all that. I would say that I have a healthy relationship with myself. I love who I am and I accept that I'm growing and learning. I have accepted that I can't ever please everyone and so I have stopped bothering about what other people think of me. Most times, I am very single and very happy about it..

But every now and then, feelings of loneliness will emerge. I might spend time questioning my self. Wondering "what's wrong" with me. And that's ok. It's normal to question, it's normal to be down. Ultimately, I am still growing as a person and I am still learning to accept myself completely.

I'm single. Sometimes, I get lonely. But that's ok. It really is.