I wrote a monologue
Detailing the things
That I wished to say
But I didn't
Couldn't
Wouldn't
I thought honesty was key
But everyone tells me
The truth is hard to take
The truth that I wished to say
Was not something I should ever say
Without considering
The consequences
Oh but the reckless me
Says to just try and see
Where this will go
Yet rational me
says don't
it won't
go very well.
So I guess I shall see
Rational or reckless
Which side of me
Will prevail
Thursday 26 January 2017
Right place, wrong time, or so I thought
16 November 2016
So we meet again, again and again. I see you on three occasions and only say hi on the second time. It's a little too late. I can't help thinking what might have happened if I said hi to you the first time. What we could have become. But alas, I was too late. Because the second time, which was 5 months later, you had already started seeing someone. And I won't do anything because I know I shouldn't.
We're in the right place, but at the wrong time. When I saw you again, my heart sank. Because just as I was going to say hi, you left. You didn't notice me standing there. Bad timing.
Maybe it's a sign from the universe, telling me that it's not meant to be. Or a life lesson. A lesson that I need to learn the hard way. That I am enough for myself. That I need to love myself first. But it baffles me. I thought I'd already learnt to embrace myself for who I am. So why is this occurring?
Friends? Sure. I'd want that. I guess. Better than nothing.
26 January 2017
So you've ended things with her, but you've made it pretty clear to me you're not interested. Now I know, timing isn't the problem. Yet you still do things that could possibly lead me on if I wasn't sharp enough to spot the signs that tell me otherwise. And I know I'm reading the signs right. You're not interested. But you don't seem to be aware that sometimes, the things you do...it makes me doubt the signs I see. No, rather, you make me wish I could doubt the signs I see. You make me wish I wasn't right. But I know, what I want isn't going to happen. And I'm trying to accept that emotionally. Trying to move on. And just be friends.
So we meet again, again and again. I see you on three occasions and only say hi on the second time. It's a little too late. I can't help thinking what might have happened if I said hi to you the first time. What we could have become. But alas, I was too late. Because the second time, which was 5 months later, you had already started seeing someone. And I won't do anything because I know I shouldn't.
We're in the right place, but at the wrong time. When I saw you again, my heart sank. Because just as I was going to say hi, you left. You didn't notice me standing there. Bad timing.
Maybe it's a sign from the universe, telling me that it's not meant to be. Or a life lesson. A lesson that I need to learn the hard way. That I am enough for myself. That I need to love myself first. But it baffles me. I thought I'd already learnt to embrace myself for who I am. So why is this occurring?
Friends? Sure. I'd want that. I guess. Better than nothing.
26 January 2017
So you've ended things with her, but you've made it pretty clear to me you're not interested. Now I know, timing isn't the problem. Yet you still do things that could possibly lead me on if I wasn't sharp enough to spot the signs that tell me otherwise. And I know I'm reading the signs right. You're not interested. But you don't seem to be aware that sometimes, the things you do...it makes me doubt the signs I see. No, rather, you make me wish I could doubt the signs I see. You make me wish I wasn't right. But I know, what I want isn't going to happen. And I'm trying to accept that emotionally. Trying to move on. And just be friends.
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